Can you imagine how your mother would feel if she got this call:
“Hey Mom, Happy Mother’s Day! By the way, I’m going to be a little late for dinner. As soon as I post bail, I’ll be right over.”
Yep, there’s no better way to honor your mother on her special day!
I was at the grocery store yesterday trying to gather up some goodies so I could cook my wife a nice Mother’s Day dinner. For some reason, I decided to pause and pay attention to my fellow shoppers for a second.
The first thing that caught my eye was an older gentlemen who was sampling grapes from the carefully-constructed pyramid in the produce department. We eventually made eye contact and he gave me the, “What the hell are you looking at?” stink-eye.
Even though the guy was twice my age, I didn’t want to stick around in case he gets punchy when people like me stare at him too long.
As I moved toward the olive bar, I saw this disgusting example of a human being reach into the pile of marinated sun-dried tomatoes with her bare hands. As she dangled them over her mouth, I thought this was the cue for me to leave and tell my wife that we would be enjoying Mother’s Day dinner at a restaurant this year.
While I was making my way back toward the entrance of the grocery store, I just happened to follow that same lady over to the trail mix bins.
You know what, I’m just going to let your imagination take care of figuring out what she did over there. (You’re welcome.)
In the tax world, the value of the grapes, marinated sun-dried tomatoes, and sunflower seeds (even the ones that stuck to this woman’s hand as she repeatedly sampled from the container) would probably be deemed “de minimis.”
Could these people have gone to jail for shoplifting?
Could someone go to jail for failing to pay a de minimis amount of tax?
Well, you’ll have to wait to find out. I’ll be posting a new episode of The Only Tax Podcast, where I’ll explain how you can avoid the criminal pitfalls from de minimis taxes.
Until then, consider only purchasing food that’s in a sealed container.